Reality

We've been in a bit of a bubble the past few months, no weekly chemo appointments, no treatment side effects, no good day/bad day cycles.  After several years of every eight week visits, we haven't seen Dr Keller in almost four months. It was beginning to feel like cancer was behind us.  But alas, the calendar marched forward and here we are again, in the midst of another round of checkups.  Last week, we saw Dr Fell (neurosurgeon) for a followup on the brain surgery/cyberknife therapy.  The brain MRI was great, no new tumors and the area where the bleed was is continuing to heal nicely.  The EEG however, showed a small amount of abnormal brain wave activity. Its not super concerning, but to be cautious, Bobby will have to stay on the Keppra another year to prevent seizures. Not great, but overall we were pleased with the report.

Next Friday, we're scheduled for the chest/abdominal CT Scans to check on the tumors in lungs, kidney & adrenal gland.  Then we see Dr Keller on the 27th, and go from there. We figure this break will have been either 1) a good idea, if the tumors are still small and slow growing (proving that the chemo isn't necessary) or 2) a bad idea, if there's significant progression.  Sometimes life feels like a roll of the dice, doesn't it?  Thankfully, we know that God is still in control, and we'll trust Him with either outcome.

The break has actually been at a good time, as we have been through a time of sadness and reflection over the loss of my sister Lynne.  We were able to spend part of the holidays with Lynnes family, enjoying the beauty of Colorado at a wonderful cabin in Pagosa Springs (thank you Maltsbergers!). Of course, it was bittersweet, but at least we were  bittersweet together. Here's the group photo.

We will all be together on the 24th when the new fountain at Lynne & Rick's church is dedicated in Lynne's memory. We will also celebrate Avery's baptism as the first person baptized in the new fountain, plus her 2nd birthday! And as added bonus, we will get to remember Leslie with Fancy Night on her birthday, Feb 25th. Oh, and have I mentioned that David & Chelsea are expecting a baby boy this year? Lynne would be so happy.   

Thanks for praying for peace and joy over the next few weeks.

Love, Juli 

Small Bump in the Road

We finally heard back from Bethesda regarding the clinical trial, and found out Bobby's not eligible at this time. The good news is the reason he's not eligible is that his disease is stable.  Of course, it's stable because he's been on treatment every week for the past 9 months, but since it's not progressing, he doesn't qualify.  We were hoping that the trial would be something that would reverse the tumors not just keep the status quo, but we are trusting that it's just not the right thing to do right now. 
We'll see Dr Keller soon, and will make a new game plan.  In the meantime, Bobby feels great and is enjoying the chemo break. Thanks for continuing to keep up with us, and for praying for clear direction and good decision making for the next step.  Love, Juli

Good Report and a New Plan

Bobby's scans last week were all good.  No new spots on the brain, and all the tumors in lungs, adrenal gland and kidney are all stable.  We had a good discussion about whether the Torisel is actually doing anything since nothing is shrinking, or is the cancer just really slow growing. We looked back to scans from a year ago, and we are pretty much in the same place. Cue the happy dance. 

Last fall, we were pursuing the option of enrolling in a clinical trial at NCI (National Cancer Institute) in Bethesda, MD. It was in that process that we learned about the brain tumor, which led to the bleed/surgery/recovery over the past 9 months. Dr Keller mentioned that NCI had told him if Bobby had no recurrence in the brain for 6 months, he might be eligible to enroll in the trial.  He asked if we would be interested in reopening that door, and Bobby responded immediately, "Sure." So Dr Keller got right on the phone, talked to the folks at NCI and confirmed that they would be willing to pursue enrollment. He's sending the latest scans, labs, reports, etc, and we expect to hear something in the next week or so.  In the meantime, we'll skip the next few doses of Torisel since he has to be off treatment at least 4 weeks to enter the trial. 

At this point, there is still more we don't know than we do, and lots of questions, but we are headed down this road for the time being.  And it's not a bad time of year for him to have a treatment break, it's finally good biking weather here.

Thanks for checking up on us.

How Goes It Week

It's been a fast eight weeks since our last CT Scan & checkup.  Everything was stable at that time.  Bobby skipped a week of treatment to be with me in Tucson with Lynne, and had to miss one other dose due to the mouth sores.  He seemed to be tolerating the pain, but Dr Keller said they were huge and insisted on holding the dose.  The weeks without treatment are kinda nice, a reminder of what it's like to not be fighting fatigue.

This week, we have a brain MRI scheduled today in addition to the Chest/Abdomen CT tomorrow.  Then Thursday, we review everything with Dr Keller.  He's had 33 weeks of Torisel. They say you can stay on it as long as it's effective and the side effects are tolerable.  At $3500 a week, I guess it's also as long as the insurance will pay for it.

Thanks to you all for the nice notes, cards and calls about my sister Lynne. We continue to miss her every day.  As difficult as August was, we did take time to celebrate Bobby's 60th birthday. We are thankful for every day. 

Thanks for checking in on us, and for continuing to remember us in prayer. We appreciate you.

Love, Juli

For Lynne

After a six-plus-year journey, Lynne's battle with breast cancer has come to a permanent cease fire.  She fought a tremendous fight against a formidable enemy, and on August 13, 2012 at 7:11pm, she walked victoriously into the arms of her Lord and Savior to begin a new life in His presence forever.

Lynne's cancer was of the triple-negative variety, meaning it lacked the three most common receptors for fueling breast cancer: estrogen, progesterone, and HER2.  Since most breast cancers have them, the most successful treatments target these receptors. Therefore, triple negative breast cancer is less treatable and more aggressive than other types.  Lynne had multiple surgeries, radiation, and almost continuous chemotherapy for the past six years.

Believing that knowledge was powerful, Lynne was a student of her disease. She read everything she could, and armed herself with the latest research, theories and treatment options. She had a big notebook full of progress reports, research, scans, lab results, and usually brought a list of questions and suggestions to her very patient and supportive oncologist, Dr Brooks.

But believing that faith and hope were even more powerful, Lynne rested in the assurance that God was in control and if He chose, she could be cured in an instant. And if that wasn't to be, she knew that He had a greater plan. She walked through the past six years with tremendous confidence and joy, a true inspiration to all who knew her.

To say she didn't let cancer defeat her is almost an understatement. She refused to let it stop her from living life to the fullest. She stayed actively involved with her family, church and friends. She rose above the demands of a strenuous treatment schedule to take trips to see family and friends, even making a trip of a lifetime to Italy with her husband in January of this year.

I can honestly say there was only once when I saw her waver in her determination, when last fall she felt she was losing ground and wondered "is this the beginning of the end?" Moments later, she gathered herself up and we made plans to take a trip to San Diego to sit on the beach and celebrate her birthday.

Today would have been Lynne's 53rd birthday. I'll celebrate, because that's the way she lived. She was the organizer of family get-togethers, a giver of "happies," a player of games, an instigator of projects, a rearranger of furniture. Lynne was always the "thoughtful" one, and as the middle child, the peacemaker. Lynne is my sister, and though we had our catfights over ridiculous things, we loved each other deeply and were fiercely devoted. She was beautiful and fun, generous and caring, and I don't think my life will ever be the same without her here.

For the past few months, Lynne's and my daily devotion has been a book called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. One of the verses from today's reading is Isaiah 61:3 -

"...and provide for those who grieve in Zion, 

to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,

the oil of joy instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor."

I think I'll keep that in mind today.